a letter to my 17 yr old self.

10551845_10204479775377090_144109209_nDear Self…

 

Dear Self, Look  at you.. you’re 17, you love halter tops and bell bottom jeans. You love the beach, and fishing with your dad..picking up shells.. driving your VW. There are no seatbelts in it… how dumb.

You wear a POW bracelet on your arm. You cry when the soldiers don’t come home.  You are a bleeding heart. Close that heart up a little.. it’s only going to get rougher, You just don’t know it yet.

Dear Self, I wish you still hugged your dad.. but there is that awkward teenage hugging. Parents are strange at this time… They will get better.  You don’t think about a life without your parents or loved ones in it, but it will happen.

Dear Self, Let go of those embarrassing things.. like the time you spit green peas across the cafeteria when you were 7.. No one remembers.  Or that epic failure of a wrap around skirt. .. yes the one that fell off in the hallway during 5th grade.

Dear Self, Life will be full of tragic events. Remember that chilly November day when they sent you home from school? You were 6..The man who mopped the halls was crying.. someone shot the president.

Dear Self.  Drive slower.

Dear Self.. You are on the brink of following your dreams… You draw..  you play the piano… You go to college your senior year of high school… and you picked up a camera with black and white film in it. You take art class with Real college students. You  win an art show. Do you KNOW what a big deal that was ?

Dear Self, do NOT let anyone tell you what you can’t do.

Dear Self,     You have made mistakes.. and trust me you will make more. Don’t beat yourself up,  don’t worry  you will pay for them,… everyone does….  but you do have the sense to go to college    You.. have done things that you never thought you were capable of,

but self,  I gotta tell you… you wasted a lot of time on things that were NOT important.  Why did you worry so about what the mean girls thought of you in high school? Was it because you wanted to be a part of the mean girl pact? That super seductive group that always managed to elude trouble no matter what they did?? Why did  you  feel so awkward?  Get a grip !       You were never the mean girl. You were the dreamer, the lover of teachers, and the artsy type. You wanted to always be something that you weren’t .  I guess I have to ask you why?  You were always good enough, even though your 17 year old brain didn’t see it.

Dear Self,  you lover of music.. Music and art will take you through the low times and the great times. From Cat Stevens, to Pharrell.

 

Dear Self. learn to sail.

 

Dear Self, Learn to pick your friends wisely, and understand that people come and go in your life for a reason. God may test you, he may torment you… but he always brings you through and true. Learn that accepting others who are different , who are weak and sick .. or can’t defend themselves is your calling.

Dear Self.. I am proud that you will learn  to save lives..I am proud that you will bathe dirty homeless people.. I am proud that you will stand up and speak what you believe.

Dear Self.. quit saying in your head that you were the fat girl.. you were just as pretty as the skinny girls. If you knew then what you know now.. you would know that you were a skinny girl, but that it didn’t matter.

Dear Self, Love the people in your life.. they will be gone one day.

Dear Self.  What matters is the person that you are today. The person with a big heart… with a perfectionist attitude.. with the desire to produce art, and grow with it. Don’t be in such a hurry to grow up.

Dear Self, you will get through..YOU will survive hard things..  and NEVER EVER  place your worth into another’s hands… and don’t let their thoughts invade your space. You are You for a reason.

Dear Self…  You want to be kind, and generous, and loving and tolerant.  Most of all, forgiving.

Dear Self,  realize that Forgiveness does not mean that you go back for more.

Dear Self, always hold those you love tightly… they can be gone in an instant.

Dear Self, Good Job, especially on the loving part.  You have learned to love all people, even the mean girls.

Dear Self you must face the fact that you aren’t going to be a singer..you must face the fact that high school ends, friends get sick, old friends go away, new ones come. You must face the facts that every other 17 yr old must face. Life is big! So live it big… make mistakes.. fall in love.. love your parents.. go to church… Find a guy who CAN’T Dance, but has excellent table manners. Enjoy your youth. Take lots of pictures along the way.

Dear Self… sing even though you can’t carry a tune. …

Sing Loud.

Dear self… teach your children to sing.

XXOO

connie